After 6 weeks of feeling like crap, I finally dragged myself to the doctor yesterday.
“How long have you been feeling bad?”
“Well, since the beginning of December, at least.”
“Why didn’t you come in before?”
“Well, I have 5 year old twins. One of them had eye surgery in late October, the other one had a continuous stream of non-strep tonsillitis episodes last year (seriously, seven of them), then had her tonsils and adenoids out in early December. Then, three days later, the other twin got strep. Then I was dealing with both of them sick. Then I got laryngitis again and y’all sent me to the ENT and he did the scope thingy through the nose and decided I had acid reflux and needed voice therapy, and then I had to have an evaluation with the voice therapist and she did another scope thingy on the back of the tongue–I wish I had my iPod with me, the pictures are crazy–and I’m supposed to go back for six weeks of voice therapy but obviously I haven’t had time to do that, either, and anyway, it’s not like I’m an opera singer, and then the other twin–”
“Boy. Not the one who had the tonsillectomy. That’s my daughter. Anyway, he got strep again in late December. Last week he got a sinus infection, an ear infection, and related conjunctivitis. My daughter’s been coughing for 9 days and yesterday the pediatrician put her on an antibiotic for a sinus infection. And my husband’s sick, too, but he won’t admit it. So … this is kind of the first time I’ve had a chance to come in.”
::Silence, as the doctor stares at me::
“Oh, and I’m losing enough hair that my husband is concerned about the plumbing. I know you’re not my endocrinologist, but while I’m here, can you check my thyroid levels?”
“Ok, why don’t you hop up here and we’ll take a look?”
After the requisite throat swab, peering in ears, mouth, and palpating of lymph nodes, the doctor started writing on his prescription pad.
“I’m giving you a ten day course of Zithromax.”
“Wait. I thought that was a five day thing.”
“It usually is.”
“So why ten?”
“Because you’ve been sick for over a month.”
“Well, what do I have? Strep? A sinus infection?”
He handed me the prescription and patted me on the arm.
“Children. You have children.”